Instead, this is being described in the press materials as "a Cold War-era thriller on steroids, with double-crossing villains, unlikely heroes, and a nail-biting race to the finish". It's a movie about the distribution of Tetris, which looks a lot more thrilling than you might have expected.
Check out the Tetris trailer below and prepare to feel yourself getting overly excited about it.
As you can see, the film stars Kingsman and Eddie the Eagle actor Taron Egerton. He will play a Dutch game designer named Henk Rogers, who had a key role in getting Tetris onto the original Game Boy.
Per the press bumf, Henk "discovers Tetris in 1988, and then risks everything by traveling to the Soviet Union, where he joins forces with [the game's] inventor Alexey Pajitnov (Nikita Efremov) to bring the game to the masses".
Here's some even more good news: Apple TV+ has confirmed the Tetris release date, which will be 31st March 2023, so there isn't too long to wait for this barmy-looking treat.
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Seeing as the Ted Lasso season 3 release date is also slated for March, this is shaping up to be an exciting month for Apple TV+ subscribers.
We'd also recommend the streaming service's gaming-focused workplace comedy, Mythic Quest, which is well worth a watch if you're interested in the industry lampooning itself.
The Tetris film is directed by Jon S Baird (Filth, Stan & Ollie) from a script by Noah Pink (Genius, This is Your Death).
The movie's cast also includes the familiar faces of Toby Jones, Ben Miles and Roger Allam, with Sofya Lebedeva and Rick Yune also appearing.
We thought it was a joke when it first landed in our inbox, but we actually can't wait for this one to drop.
Tetris will land on Apple TV+ on 31st March. You can subscribe now if you haven't already.
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